


Breathe

by FlamboyantMess



Category: Death Note
Genre: Adoption, Adoption! AU, Adultery, Child Abandonment, Child Abuse, Divorce, M/M, Miscommunication, No Kira! AU, PTSD, Past Character Death, Past Child Abuse, Pregnancy Scares, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal actions, Teen Pregnancy, Underage Drug Use, Yaoi, m/m - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-02
Updated: 2014-08-07
Packaged: 2018-01-10 21:41:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1164844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlamboyantMess/pseuds/FlamboyantMess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>BB and L find and adopt Mello as an abused child. He grows up in their home, but at 15, things start to change between the family. Relationships are torn and Mello suffers from PTSD. Now its up to his family to try and save the troubled teen from himself. (Eventual MxM, Youi, so much Youi. Warning now. Pedophilia, suicidal thoughts. May be triggering)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

"Babe! Come over here! Bring Nate!" Beyond yelled for his husband, Lawleit. Holding tight to his four year old son, Mail's hand as the toddler urged forward in the store.  
"Daddy come on! Let me go, I wanna see it!" Mail screamed. The 'It' he was referring too, was of course, the new Nintendo portable gaming console that had people gathering in front of it. Gamers mostly, or parents with their young, excited children. Mail was, without a doubt, the youngest of those children.  
Some parents in his Pre-K class scolded the two men for letting their adopted son be so entranced by video games. Claiming that it ruined his imagination. But, to each his own. If Mail wanted to play video games, it wasn't their position to deprive him of that. It wasn't as if he wasn't an active child. There was no harm to letting the child have something he wanted.  
Lawleit walked back to them, slowly for he was holding the hand of their second son. 2 year old, Nate. Whom was just learning to walk by himself.  
"Coming B!"  
"Well hurry up! I cant keep your son under control forever!"  
"Excuse me? But I think the last time I checked he was our son. Not just mine."  
"Yeah yeah, you know what I meant. Give me Nate, you take Mail." At B's request, the two switched children. Beyond scooping the younger child into his arms and resting him on his hip. Lawleit took Mail's hand and was quickly tugged into the massive crowd of interested people. Beyond stayed behind, knowing Nate got anxious in large groups of people like that, as did he. When the father-son duo returned, Mail was had the Nintendo in his hand, waving it up at his fathers proudly. Beyond looked at Lawliet.  
"I had to okay. You know very well of the face." 'The face' in reference to Mail's 'Please Daddy, please?' puppy dog eyes, whimpering, pouting, anything he had to do to get what he wanted. Of course, it wasn't very hard for the four year old to get what he pleased, because his parents loved spoiling him. They spoiled their children, simply because they could.  
"You know, four years is long enough to get used to the face L." Beyond scolding playfully. Bending down slightly to ruff a hand through Mails hair before patting it down again.  
"C'mon, its almost bed time kiddos. And we have to stop for dinner as well. We need to get going." Beyond declared to his family. Mail jumped onto L's back as he placed his goggles onto his eyes. Beyond took L's free hand and the duo walked towards the mall exit. The two men buckled their sons into the back seat of their silver sedan. The drive to "Lemon Grass", Beyond and Mail's favorite restaurant wasn't very far. As they hectically unloaded their car, since Mail didn't want to get off his console for dinner and Lawleit had a rule about gaming at the dinner table. Beyond had to rip it from the toddlers hands, which resulted in Mail screaming bloody murder in the middle of the parking lot. People started to stare and the two parents were extremely embarrassed by their child's actions. Lawleit grabbed the toddlers hand as Beyond stared walking away with Nate, towards the restaurant. L's face was red as he tugged the screaming child into his arms and took him around the parking lot to an ally where he was assuming he could calm the child down. However when he got to the ally, the sight before him made him slap a hand over Mails eyes immediately. A stripped child, no older than Mails current age in nothing but his worn down, ripped socks, scars covering his body and face, fondling with an adult mans dick. The man had his hands against the brick wall and his head tilted back in pleasure, the sick bastard. L yelled to draw attention to himself, hopefully stopping the man from molesting the young boy. Behind the man and child, a bloody body of a woman, probably the boys mother or caregiver of some sort. The man pulled away from the boy, stuffing his cock back into his pants and taking off as L took out his badge and gun. Not to shoot the man if he didn't have to, of course, he wouldn't want to scare the two young boys, but hopefully and successfully to scare the man. He really should have gone after the man, but that wasn't his main priority. He took out his cell phone as he cautiously approached the frightened child. He dialed 911 and informed them of the incident, asking for an ambulance as well, for he was certain the boy was severely injured by the looks of his body. He then called Beyond, asking him to come out and to bring some of Mail's new clothes with him, that way the boy wouldn't be naked in the cold January air any longer.  
"Hi kiddo. My names L. This is my son Mail. What's your name?"  
"Are you going to hurt me? Mamma and Pappa like to hurt me." The child said weakly, cowering back into the wall.  
"No. I'm not going to hurt you. Can you tell me what your name is?"  
"My names Miheal. But Sissy likes to call me Mello."  
"Hi Mello. Can you tell me who that lady is? Do you know her?"  
"Yeah, thats my sissy Ari. She's gonna wake up soon isn't she? That man Pappa sent us with said she was takin' a nap." Mello said, looking at his sister, "I usually wake her up by kicking her in the tummy, but the man did that right after she went to sleep and she didn't wake up. Is she sick?"  
"I don't know sweetheart, but I'm sure she'll wake up soon."  
"Oh good lord." Beyond sighed in shock at the sight of Mello.  
"Did you bring the clothes?"  
"Yeah of course I did L but you could have warned me!"  
"I didn't want you to worry."  
"Here kiddo, come on, lets get you into some clothes." Beyond said, setting Nate down to sit next to Mail against the wall with a quick, 'Don't move you two.' He came over to his husband and the boy. Mello shy'd away from the man imeaditatly. Finding himself in L's arms without even realizing what he was doing. He trusted that L wasn't going to hurt him, and if he did, then Mello deserved to be hurt. Because well, that's the way things went right? If Mello was beaten, then it was because he deserved it. He always deserved it. L took the clothes from BB and slipped them onto the toddler, shaking in his arms. It was just a black pair of sweatpants and a red striped shirt, they were too big for the small child, who was really half Mail's size, but they would do until the couple could find somewhere for him to go. If it came down to Mello going to foster care, then the couple would take him home with them instead and work on adopting him. L picked him up as they heard ambulance sirens, Mello clamped him hands over his ears and closed his eyes. Beyond took Nate and Mails hands and walked them to the car. L took Mello to the medics, who set him down in the ambulance and started to inspect him. He screamed as the tried to undress him, L ran into the car and took him into his arms.  
"Shh. Mel, its okay. Your okay. I promise they're not going to hurt you. I won't let them." L whispered into Mello's ear. The boy calmed down, closing his eyes and twisting his small fingers into the fabric of L's shirt. L took off his shirt and the medics looked him over; Bandaging multiple parts of his body and stitching a deep cut in his arm up.  
"Okay sir, he should be fine now."  
"Thank you." L said as he put Mello's shirt back on and led the child out of the vehicle. The cops were waiting for him when they turned the corner.  
"Are you Mr. Lawliet Birthday?"  
"Yes. This is the boy I called about. His name is Mihael."  
"Okay, we need you to tell us the entire story while Mihael will be over there, with someone from CPS." The officer said, pointing to the left of him at a woman in a pant suit.  
No more than 10 minutes later, Mello was back in L's arms. Falling asleep as it was almost 10 at night by now. L and Beyond were talking with the Officer and the social worker.  
"There is no way he will be going back to his parents. After what he described them as I don't think we can afford to take that risk. He'll surely be killed." The social worker known as Mrs. Kendrid said.  
"So where will he go?"  
"Foster care I'm afraid."  
"We'll take him." L said.  
"You can't do that sir."  
"Please. We have the resources, we can care and provide for him better than a foster parent. I'm an investigator, my husband owns a construction business, we have two sons, one of them is his age. Could you think of a better place for the child to go?"  
Mrs. Kendrid paused for a moment, thinking over the possibilities, before she sighed. "Okay. For a while he can stay with you."  
"Thank you Ma'am."  
"We have to get going now." Beyond said, grasping L's arm and leading him towards the car, nodding goodbye to the cop and social worker.  
The car ride home was long, they had to stop at a fast food restaurant and get food for the boys. Mello woke up for a while and ate with Mail and Nate before falling back asleep in L's arms. When they returned home, they quickly put the boys to bed, laying Mello and Mail down in Mail's bed.  
The two men walked into the large living room and Beyond stared at Lawliet.  
"L, baby you know I love you and I would do anything for you, but that child is going to be trouble and you can see it in his eyes. I just don't think we can make a son out of him. I don't think this is a good idea."  
"Well what was I supposed to do B? Leave him there? You know full well that had we not been there today Mello would have died! If it had been Mail, you would want someone to take care of him correct?"  
"That's different L and you know it. Mail is a completely different child. He's had a different upbringing."  
"Mello hasn't had any upbringing for Christ's sake! He's four!"  
Beyond just shook his head and walked away. Leaving L in the living room alone.


	2. Chapter 1-Settling In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BB fails to hold up on showing his true self. Mello has a melt down, and Mail gets a nickname.

At 7:45 the next morning, Mail and Nate came tumbling down the stairs into the kitchen. L welcomed his sons with breakfast, surprised to see Mello cowering behind Mail, hand in hand with the other boy. L looked at the young, frightened boy sympathetically.

"Hi Mello. Did you sleep well?" He asked the child. Mello didn't seem to even recognize his existence. He just sat with Mail on his chair as L gave him his breakfast. Mail looked at Mello and made a face, making Mello giggle slightly. BB stalked into the kitchen, going towards the boys and kissing Nate and Mail on the foreheads. Not acknowledging Mello's presence.

"Hi boys." He greeted his sons.

"Hi Daddy. G'morning." Mail greeted.

"Dadda!" Nate said, reaching up to his father. BB smiled and took Nate into his arms.

"So, L I wanted to remind you that I am leaving tonight. For the job in LA." BB said to his husband. Mello leaned into Mail, who placed an arm over the smaller boys shoulder. A small grimace came upon Mello's face from pressure on one of the deep wounds on his shoulder.

"Mail, be careful with him."

"Okay Daddy. Sorry Mello. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"It's okay Matty." At the nickname Mello had given Mail, BB spun around, Nate in his arms. He glared at the small blonde boy.

"His name is Mail. You will call him Mail. You will show him respect you delinquent! You are in our home and you will act as such or you will suffer the consequences!" He yelled at Mello. Mello paled immeaditatly. Shaking and sliding out of Matt's chair. Running out of sight.

"Mello!" L called, running after the boy with Matt. Mello was a quick child, disappearing from sight quietly. L found him in the bedroom, punching himself and slamming his head against the wall.

"Mello stop that." He said, trying desperately to stay calm, so as not to frighten the child. He grabbed Mello and held him into his chest.

"Sorry I said something stupid. I didn't mean it. You can hit me if you want. I wont tell. I promise. I can be good." Mello mumbled. L closed his eyes and shook his head.

"I'm not going to hit you Mel. Your still good, you didn't say anything stupid."

"Of course I did. I only get punished when I'm bad, Mamma say's I'm always bad. Thats why she doesn't stop hitting me."

"Mello I promise you, you will not be punished by being slapped anymore."

"Why not?"

"Because you dont deserve to be hit."

"Okay." Mello said, not knowing the extent of what L was saying, not wanting to disagree with the adult.

"Do you want to go finish your breakfast with Matt?"

"Yes please."

"Okay." L picked Mello up and carried him back into the kitchen. He set the blonde child next to Matt, this time getting Mello his own chair.

"B, can I talk to you? Now." L spat at his husband. BB sighed, rolling his eyes and walking into the den.

"You can't do that! What the fuck were you thinking? You know he was abused, why would you do that?" L screamed at his husband, in the kitchen, Mello cowered in his chair, Matt climbed over and hugged him.

"It's gonna be okay Mels. They always yell like that." He comforted the shaking toddler. Mello burried his head into Matt's shoulder, tears starting to stream down his face.

"Either you stop this behavior towards Mello, or you can leave and I will file for divorce." L warned.

"Fine! I'm going to A's. I'll see you when I get back from LA."

"Bye!"

Later that night, L stood in the dining room, clearly arguing with someone on the phone from what Mello could hear. He stood outside the dining room, pressing his small body up against one of the French doors that lead into the large room. From what he could tell of L and BB's house, it was large. With 4 or 5 bedrooms, as he had heard BB and L discussing moving Mello into the 'Guest' and then moving the guest into the 'spare room' Mello had never been in a house so luscious. The corridor he was in was painted a posh sage color, with pictures of Matt, and "Nate", along with L and BB covering the walls. Mello wondered what it would feel like to see a picture of himself along side Matt, Nate, and L with BB. He wanted them to be his family. He didn't want to go back to Mamma and Papa.

He did want Ari though. He thought about what it felt like when the 14 year old girl wrapped her arms around him and hugged him when he couldn't sleep. Not that they ever got much sleep, but Ari was helpful in sleepless nights. He allowed himself to wonder when she was coming to get him. He thought she might never come. Mello was a bright child, he had suspicions of what had really happened. Although he didn't allow himself to come to terms with it just yet. Mello heard slow, steady foot steps creeping up behind him. "Mels? Are you going to come to bed or what? I don't think Daddy will like knowing that you've been standing here all night." Matt asked the smaller boy.

"I need to ask him a question." Mello replied in a hushed tone.

"We're going to go on with the adoption after asking him Beyond! That's the end of it!" L yelled into his cellphone. With that he hung up and walked out into the corridor where he heard little boy's whispers coming through the French doors.

"Boys. Its past your bedtime." He patronized lovingly.

"Is Nate in bed?"

"Yeah Daddy. Nate's asleep." Matt answered. Mello cowered into his shoulder, Matt wrapping his arms around Mello to hug him properly.

"Okay, well then. What are you two doing?"

"Mels wanted to ask you something." Matt said.

"Is that so? What did you want to ask Mello?" Mello mumbled something incoherent shyly into Matts shoulder.

"Mello, I can't hear you. Could you say that again?"

"When is my sister coming to get me?" Mello finnaly asked. L's smile faded, his lips sealing into his mouth to form a tight line. He honestly didn't know what to say. Did he tell the child and break his heart? Or did he simply lie? "I'll get back to you on that one okay Kiddo. Time for bed." He said. Picking both boys up and carrying them to Matt's room. He laid Matt down in his bed on one side of the room, then taking Mello over to the bed Nate used to use when he slept in Matt's room. He tucked both the boy's into bed and said goodnight. Kissing them both on their heads. L said goodnight and kissed Nate's forehead on his way to the master bedroom. In Matt's bedroom, after the two had heard the door to the master close tight. Mello quietly crawled out of his bed and climbed into Matt's. He rested his head on his friends chest as Matt pulled out one of his gaming consoles.

"What're you doin'?" Asked Mello, sleepily.

"Playin' a game." "What's it called?"

"Pokemon." Matt answered quickly, turning his head from Mello back to his game and concentrating.

"Does it bother you when I call you Matt?" Mello asked quietly.

"No. I like it. It's alot better than Mail."

"Then why did you're Pappa yell at me?"

"He yells alot. You'll get used to it."

"My Pappa likes to hit me. Mamma too."

"My Daddy's aren't going to hurt you Mels." Matt said after a while. He turned his head to look at Mello, only to find his friend fast asleep on his chest. He pulled his goggles over his eyes and fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 2- Believe me

"К черту То будет жарко!" The 12 year old screamed as the red head next to his forced his hand into the cold water running from the sink.

"Why would you place your hand on the stove Mels?" Matt yelled at the blonde.

"Ik weet het niet. Ik wilde!" The burned blond yelled back at his brother.

"Nou dat is een dom antwoord, vooral voor een genie." Matt said.

"Boys! What happened?"

"Mello thought it would be fun to touch the stove, again."

"Again Mello?" L scolded his son.

"I didn't know it was that hot!" Mello complained.

"C'mere, I'll wrap it. You need to stop acting so foolish Miheal." Beyond said strictly as he brushed past L to get the ace bandage.

"My name is Mello. And I can do it myself." Mello snapped at his father.

"Не говорите со мной так педик." Beyond stated, knowing only Mello could understand what he said.

"Я поговорю с вами, однако я хочу педофила." Mello said back. "Кроме того, я бы не стал оскорблять себя. Это только добавляет к моей топлива." He said as he sauntered out the door to his room, bandages in hand.

"What was that about?" Matt asked his father. Still flustered from Mello burning himself.

"Its not your place to be asking Matt." L said, while Beyond screamed "That's none of your damn business!"

Mello got out into the hall and turned his head to make sure no one was following him, before sprinting up the stairs and into his room. The door collided with the wall in a slam. Something he knew would get his fathers' attention.

"Am I your child? Or just a charity war?" Mello whispered to himself as he let his eyes finally drip salty, hot tears down his face. He went to the bathroom he shared with Matt and grabbed lotion from under the sink, he needed it for his hand.

As he sat on his window sill after wrapping his hand properly, there was a knock on the door.

"Mello? Can- Can I come in?" A voice came from the hall.

"Leave me alone Near. I don't want to talk to you." Mello answered, but the albino 10 year old was already closing the door behind him. He walked over to Mello and sat on the floor, leaning back on the wall Mello was perched upon.

"Matt's real mad. I don't know if he's mad at you, or me or Daddy or Papa, but he's mad."

"Don't be an idiot. Why the hell would he be mad at you? And he's not our 'Daddy' so stop calling him that." Mello patronized.

"I don't know. Sometimes Matt gets mad, he scares me." Near admitted, looking down. "Why do you hate Daddy so much? What did he do?"

"-'S none of your business. You wouldn't understand. Besides, its not your fault I have to deal with what I go through. Its not like you wished for it to happen. Now, get out. Can you ask Matt to come up too? I need him for something."

"I can help you Mels."

"No, and don't call me that. Just get Matt."

"Okay." Near said as he hung his head and walked out. He and his brothers were once so close. The best of friends. He remembers the day they turned from him like it was yesterday.

"Matt! Mello! Come on! It's snowing! I wanna go sled!" 6 year old Near screamed happily to his brothers, who were more like his best friends. He slammed his hands down on their door and called their names again.

Inside the bedroom, Matt was tending to Mello's hair, tying the long golden locks into a ponytail as L wrapped Mello's hand carefully. God only knows what happened, Mello wouldn't tell anyone, but one minute, Beyond and Mello were talking in the kitchen, the rest of the family in the living room, and the next Mello was screaming bloody murder and Beyond was yelling at him. Lawliet had assumed Mello was being oblivious and had placed his hand on the stove, not realizing it was on. While Matt had suspicions about that theory, knowing Mello would never do that.

Near looked at the door again, and put his small hand on the knob, though when he tried to open it, he realized, it was locked. Why would they lock him out? Did they not like him anymore? Questions ran through Near's head and he sulked back into his room to get out of his snow suit.

Mello continued to sob as Matt hugs him, burying his face into Mello's neck. L frowned sympathetically and ran his hand through Mello's ponytail. He hugged both of the boys and kissed Mello on his forehead before leaving the room.

Near sat on his bed holding a picture of Mello, Matt and himself. It was a year old, but that didn't matter to the 6 year old. On Near's face was a huge smile, on his left was Mello, on his right Matt. They both hugged Near from each side and though you couldn't see it in the photo, they held their hands clasped tightly to the others. Looking back on this now, Near realized that this wasn't a photo of him with his brothers. This was a photo of his brothers, and their pesky 5 year old brother.

"Mels? You needed me?"

"No, I just wanted you." Mello said as he walked up to the red head and hugged him tightly. Matt smirked into his shoulder as he squeezed Mello's lithe body in his, longer, stronger arms. Mello sighed in contentment at the feel of Matts arms around him. Safety.

"Je had me net gebeld. Ik zou zijn gekomen."

"Wilde niet."

"Lazy ass." Matt laughed. Mello whined but didn't argue. "You put your hand on the stove. Why?"

"I've been doing that since we were 8 Matt. Its nothing new."

"You didn't put your hand on the stove that time though, did you Mello?" Matt stared at Mello, their eyes connecting. Mello's eyes were wide, his mouth hanging open slightly, Matt took his chin, and shut his mouth as Mello continued to stare.

"That's none of your business. It was 4 years ago Matt. Just let it go."

"Mello, I wish you would just let me in. I want to protect you. I want to help you."

"I don't need protection or help Matt. Nothing is going on. Please, believe me?"

And Matt did.


	4. An empty promise of protection

Breath

Chapter 3

An empty promise of protection

"Matt!" The 9 year old blonde yelled at his foster brother as he walked into the red heads room.

"What is it Mels?" The gamer asked.

"Daddy keeps coming into my room and is trying to change my clothes. Does he do that to you too?"

"No. You should ask Daddy and Pappa why you need to change."

"I cant. Daddy said I'd be grounded if I told anyone. Don't tell anyone I told you okay?"

"I promise." Matt said, he sighed and suddenly remembered a program his 4 grade class had to sit through a few weeks ago. An anti-abuse program. "Hey, Mels, can you promise me something in return?" He asked cautiously. He knew his father wouldn't do anything to Mello, but the thought of someone 'hurting' Mello worried Matt. He loved Mello. As a brother of course, his teacher said it was bad to like someone from the same gender.

"Sure, what is it?"

"Promise me that if anyone ever tries to hurt you in anyway, you'll tell me okay? No matter what they tell you is going to happen?"

"Yeah, I promise I'll tell."

"Mello! Open the god damn door or a swear to Satan I will slit your throat!" BB yelled as he pounded on the teens door. L had taken Near and Matt out, Mello had refused to come, of course. Leaving BB to take care of the brat. At least it gave him some alone time with the boy. He couldn't help his attraction to the 14 year old, this feeling had been going on since Mello turned 7. Only really taking course when he was 9.

Inside the small room, Mello curled up on his bed, tears threatening to fall from his eyes. He wished Matt and L would just come home already. He wished he was dead. He wished he had never ended up in this damned house. A loud bang on the door made the blonde jump and when he did tears jolted down his face.

"Stop! Please stop!" Mello screamed. Wishing that he had went with Matt when he had the chance. He listened as the boot clad feet stomped down the hall, just to turn and come back to his door, slamming it on its hinges as the older man passed Mello's bedroom. Suddenly the door was breaking away from the locked frame, slamming into his wall. Mello let out an involuntary scream of fright. He curled his lithe body further into a ball.

"There you are." BB said. Mello whimpers and BB walked over, leaning down in the bed so he was face to face with his adoptive son.

"S-stop! No!" Mello pleaded. BB grabbed his face with one hand, the other on the teenagers chest. He kissed the boy harshly, he ran his hand down Mellos chest and started to pull the t-shirt up. Suddenly a door opened and slammed closed down stairs. Cheerful laughter filled the hallway and BB immediately got up and left the room. As he walked out, he turned and whispered.

"This door was your fault. You got mad. Okay? If you tell I'll hurt you. Badly. Matt won't be able to save you that time either Baby Boy." He grinned and slyly walked downstairs. Kissing his husband and hugging his sons. Mello sat, shocked, confused and neglected on his bed.

When L and Matt asked about the door, he said what BB told him too. He wanted to go out with friends and BB said no, he got mad and slammed the door alittle too hard.

No one believed this story.

L knew for a fact that Mello couldn't slam a door that hard even if he wanted too, but he went along with this lie.

That makes 2 warning signs, completely ignored.


	5. Can we just hold on?

Breath

Chapter 4

Can we just hold on?

Warning: Abuse to Near.

"Matt! Wait up!" Mello yelled out as he ran faster to catch up to his brother. The path was dark, and the air was thick and moist. Trees blocked the sunlight from bathing the wet leaves that Mello's feet came harshly slamming down onto as he fought to catch up with his brother. His blond pigtail bobbed up and down, his right shoulder peeping through the neck hole on his black t-shirt. A strange smile plastered on his face.

Matt suddenly stopped in a clearing. "Here." He said. He set down his backpack and took out his MP 3 player. Setting it on the ground he turned on a random song before turning back to Mello, who stood just a few feet away, awe-struck by the beauty of the clearing. "Come dance Mel." Matt ordered, Mello walked over taking his hand. Matt spun him around and pulled Mello closer to him. So that the shorter blond was flush up against his chest. Both boys blushed, but continued on to dance. As the day progressed later into the night, it started to rain. Soaking Mello and Matt. The boys laughed as they stripped of their shirts and sat down on the wet grass, leaning back and laying down, covered in the shadows of a large oak tree. There they stayed. Laughing and talking, somehow their childhoods were still for the moment that didn't ever seem to pass.

A small albino stared at the boys through the trees. He waited for the right time and made his appearance. "Hey guys!" He said, his voice raspy from deepening. Mello stiffened for a moment. Before Matt pulled him into his chest. Sensing something was wrong. The last time Mello stiffened up like this, it scared Matt to even think of it.

Mello, Matt, and Near where sitting in the parlor, playing video games. They were all having a grand time. Mello was smiling and laughing from his spot laying next to Matt, his head in the other boys lap. Their father's came through the front door screaming at each other. Matt wasn't sure what exactly they were screaming about, because the moment they walked through the doors, Mello tensed and his eyes locked shut. Beyond stormed past the parlor as L entered the room. Seconds later, Mello started to shout, his eyes closed. "No!" Over and over again. "No!" "No!" "No!"

"Mello! It's okay! Mello, what's wrong?" Matt panicked.

"No! No! No!"

"Dad! What the hell is wrong with him?" Matt shouted. Mello stood, and turned towards the window. Matt stood and grabbed Mello, turning him back to his chest. Mello shrieked and pounded his hands into Matt's chest. L pulled Near out of the room in one swift movement. The 10 year old crashed into BB, who was standing in the doorway. With Near out of the way L grabbed the other boys. He tried to separate Matt and Mello, but Matt wouldn't let go of his brother.

"Mail, let me see him." L said, sternly. Matt hesitated for a moment, shocked by the use of his real name. He let Mello go. L spun Mello to face him. He knelt down to Mello's height and looked into the boys now open eyes.

"Miheal!"

"No! No! No!"

"Miheal! Calm down. You're okay."

"No!"

"Mello." Matt said, placing a hand on his brothers back. Mello relaxed. His erotic breathing lessened, his eyes closed and opened again.

"M-Matt." Mello said as he threw his arms around his brother. "I'm sorry." He cried into Matt's neck. Matt sighed in relief and tightened his grip on Mello. He swore once to himself that he would never let go of Mello, and during the next few moments, he would make good on that promise.

"It's okay Mello. I'm here. You're fine." Matt whispered into Mello's ear. "It's just Near. Nothing to get worked up about." Mello nodded, closing his eyes and opening them again, anger present in them.

"What the hell are you doing brat?" He shouted across the clearing at Near.

"Mello."

"Go the fuck away! Leave!" The blond shouted.

"But I- I just wanted to be with you guys. We used to have so much fun together." Near said, taking a step forward.

"What the fuck did I say? Get the fuck away from us! You ass-tard!"

"Mello! Stop!"

"No! What the hell do you see in him that I don't Matt? I hate him!"

"You have no right to say that Mello. You barely know who I am anymore. Our fathers would be ashamed of you."

"Your fathers Nate! Your's! Not mine! I would rather die than call them my parents."

"Mello." Matt breathed warning. "Near, Mello's right. Go home. Now."

"But Matt!" Near protested.

"Go home!" Matt shouted. Near shook his head but followed his older brothers instructions.

"Mello." Matt said, his voice deep with concern and anger. Frustration. Why wouldn't Mello just let him in? Tell him what's going on. "I don't care what the fuck it is. You are going to tell me what the hell is going on with you. Right now."

"And if I don't?" Mello said with a smug smile. An eerie look in his eyes.

"I'm not giving you that option." Matt said softly. Looking straight into Mello's cobalt blue eyes.

"Fuck off. Ass hole!" Mello spat. Fighting off the hands that Matt had placed on either of his arms. He grabbed his things and ran from the clearing. Matt stood there, stunned.

Later that night, Matt finally appeared in the door way to his home. His family was sitting at the dinner table eating. He lingered in the door way for a while, a hard glare set on Mello. Mello set his head down, ashamed. Matt greeted his parents and Near politely, sitting down at the table with them. His gaze never leaving an uncomfortable Mello.

Mello spent the remainder of dinner time pushing his food around on his plate. Never actually eating anything. L looked at him concerned.

"Something wrong Mels?" He asked. Mello just shook his head.

"I'm not feeling the greatest. May I go up to my room?" He asked, pleading eyes looking to his father.

"Of course." And Mello was gone.

After dinner, Matt cleared his plate quickly and dashed up stairs. Yelling was soon heard and L asked if they should stop the two boys.

"No. They'll be fine." BB replied.

There was a knock on the boys shared bedroom door.

"What?" Came a shaky reply.

"Mels, unlock the door."

"Why? Are you going to interrogate me again?" Mello shouted back, his voice breaking. Matt slammed his leg into the door, making Mello jump in freight from inside the room.

"God dammit Mello! Let me in! Please for the love of god just let me in!" Matt shouted. No longer speaking of the door. Mello slowly opened the door. Large, teary blue eyes looked up at Matt.

"Why are you hiding from me? What did I do? Why don't you trust me enough to tell me what's hurting you?" Matt questioned, stepping into the room and locking the door shut behind him.

"Matt I-"

"No Mello! Listen to me for once please! I want to help you! Can't you see that? That's all I've ever wanted! I can't help you if you don't let me, so please for the love of god just tell me whats going on!"

"Matt!"

"God Mello you frustrate me to no ends! Do you know that? Sometimes I can't stand you! Why? Why don't you trust me? What have I done?"

"Matt!"

"I don't understand why you won't let me help you!"

"I can't!" Mello shrieked suddenly. Making Matt stop.

"What?"

"I can't. I can't tell you what's happening. Okay?"

"No! That's not okay! Is someone hurting you, what the hell is happening?"

"I can't tell you! It will only make it worse if I tell you!"

"Mello." Matt said, falling to his knees in front of Mello, who had curled up beside his bed. Matt grabbed Mello's smaller frame and tugged the blond into his chest. He lay'd his face into Mello's hair. Mello broke down, sobbing into his shirt. He slowly rocked them from side to side. Shushing the blonde quietly. Eventually, he pressed a kiss upon Mello's temple. Mello stared at him, shocked.

"I love you. Do you hear me? I love you so much Miheal." He confessed. Mello smiled slightly and nodded, before resting his head against Matt's chest again.

Both boys ended up sleeping in Matt's bed that night. Like they did when they were little.


	6. Again I try

Breath

Chapter 5

Again I try

When Beyond left Mello's room last night Mello didn't cry. Mello cleaned himself up and made his bed. Only when he stopped for a second to look in his mirror did he begin to notice tears falling from his eyes.

"It's my 15th birthday." He mutters to himself.

The next day, he was greeted with birthday wishes and Matt, and his friends. He was greeted with Beyond's smug smile as he hugged L. He kept silent. He said nothing, though he knew he should. When the Ryuzaki family was seated on the couch watching a movie, and Mello was caught in between Matt and Beyond, he cuddled closer to Matt without a word. Matt swung his arm around Mello, and pulled him closer.

When Mello was alone in his room that night, Beyond came in. He looked at Mello threateningly.

"If you tell anyone, what we did last night, I will kill you. Think about what that would do to Matt. Think about it hard before you decide to ruin all of our lives. You piece of shit."

With that he left.

Mello curled into a ball on his bed. He stayed like that as Matt came into the room. Matt sighed, massaging his hair with a towel. He sat down on Mello's bed, Mello fought hard to keep his eyes off of Matt's manhood.

"Mells, what's wrong?"

Mello shook his head.

"You're not going to tell me?"

"Nope. I'm tired Matt. Go to bed." Mello dismissed his lover with that, before drifting off to sleep. Matt went back to his bed and fell asleep as well.

By morning Mello realized that his left eye had a black bruise around it. He started crying again. When Matt found him, he was curled into a ball in their bathroom. Matt sighed, but dropped to his knees and held his brother as the blond sobbed. After 15 minutes Mello did eventually stop, with his head shoved into Matt's neck, and Matt's hand resting on the back of Mello's head.

"Please stop crying. I hate it when you cry." Matt whispered to Mello.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you hate to see me cry?"

"Because I love you, you know this Mello."

"I love you too, you know."

"I know." Matt whispered as he rested his head on his brothers head. They stayed like that until it was time for them to get ready for school. Mello spent most of that time trying to cover his bruise.

"Mello, it's fine. I can't see it anymore. I promise."

"Are you sure?" Mello asked, applying more concealer to his eye.

"Yes and if you continue to do that your eye will turn orange."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I, unlike you talk to people other than my brothers." Matt said, slipping his goggles onto his head and sticking his tongue out at his brother.

"Oh yeah, because you're so social Mail."

"My names Matt, asstard." Matt said, coming to stand behind his brother, with his hands on either side of Mello's hips. Mello suddenly gasped at the feeling of his brother standing behind him, just before Matt spun him around. Matt looked at Mello lovingly before closing the space between them. Just before their lips could touch, L called them, and Mello spun out of Matt's grasp and out of the room. Matt sighed and held his face in his hands.

"And, that concludes this lesson class. You are all excused." Mrs. Ridge said. "Ah, Mello, may I speak to you for a moment?" She said as the rest of the students left the room.

"Sure." The blond spoke. Matt stood next to his brother protectively.

Mrs. Ridge cleared her throat and looked at Matt patiently.

"Matt, I would appreciate it if Mello and I could speak privately."

Matt looked hesitantly at Mello, until the blond nodded at him, smiling slightly. Matt left after that. Going back out into the hallway.

"Miheal, Mello, I couldn't help but notice your eye. Would you mind explaining how exactly you got that?"

"I was wrestling with Matt yesterday and it got a bit out of hand. It was an accident and I'm fine. No need to worry."

She sighed.

"Mello, if someone is hurting you, you need to tell someone. No matter what the abuser says will happen if you do."

"No one is hurting me Ma'am. I'm completely fine."

"Okay. Go to your next class then."

"Goodbye Ma'am." Mello said as he left the classroom.

As Matt left the classroom and snuck behind the court yard of his private school to smoke, he saw 3 boys walking up to him. James, Joel and Blaine. They were his age, and Matt suspected that they got their joy in life from making his miserable.

"Hey Matt!"

"Gay boy!"

They called him. He spun around, only to be pushed to the ground by Joel. James, taking his cigarette out of his hand and taking a drag of it himself, threw it on the ground and stomped it out.

"How're you doing today incestuous?"

"I'm not incestuous, and I'm not gay!" Matt retaliated.

"That's not what the school thinks Matto. There's something wrong with your relationship with your brother. We all know that. It'd be a shame if anything were to happen to him." Blaine said.

"You wouldn't! I will kill you if you lay a finger on him, any of you!" Matt roared.

"Then prove it. Prove that he's just your brother, You have a month." James said before they walked away.

Leaving Matt stunned behind the school.


End file.
